Will It Blend? - Pens

Scripture Study Schedule

I was asked to prepare a schedule to help the members of our ward to read the Book of Mormon and the New Testament during the 2007 year. Here are some interesting notes:

• If you read 1 chapter per day, then you will finish the Book of Mormon in 239 days.
• If you read 1 chapter per day, then you will finish the New Testament in 260 days.
• You only have to read 1.45 pages per day to finish the Book of Mormon in a year.
• You only have to read 1.1 pages per day to finish the New Testament in a year.
  
• If you read 4.3 chapters per day, then you will finish the entire Standard Works in a year.
• You only have to read 6.76 pages per day to finish the entire Standard Works in a year.

Update

Hey all--so it's been awhile since we posted and so I thought I'd write an update. Jared and I had our own Thanksgiving dinner here in Provo and it was really nice!! We had turkey breast, mashed potatoes, candied yams, rolls, pie and ice cream, cranberry sauce, etc...it was YUMMY!!! THEN--we made our own 'lovesac' which is a giant bean bag chair--it's a cube that is 5x4x4!! it's huge!! it's fun to relax on just the two of us and our dogs :-)

We got the first valley snow today--it's actually kind of pretty even though I HATE winter in general!! Maverick, our dog, loves to prance through the snow but Sandie hates it!

Finally, baby is growing just great! I'm feeling great except i have a bad day every now and then but nothing too bad (yet:-). Supposedly she looks like a mini new born now, but i have a hard time imagining that when they say she has saggy, wrinkley skin b/c she doesn't have enough fat, and she weighs less than a pound. that's gotta be one funny looking new born. Anyway, i still love her and love feeling her kick me gently (right now) everyday :-) hope every who reads this is well!

Really Bad Day

Jared says: I'm having a REALLY bad day
Melissa says: y?
Jared says: I gave myself a haircut
Jared says: It was really good
Jared says: but I wanted to touch up after a shower
Jared says: After my shower, I saw the place I wanted to work on
Jared says: I got it, but a ton of hair fell into the sink.
Jared says: I looked up, and I saw that i had forgotten that I took the guard off
Jared says: I buzzed it to stubble!
Melissa says: oh no...
Jared says: I had to shave my entire head
Jared says: I'm a little in shock
Melissa says: i'm sooo sorry sweetie--
Melissa says: but i bet it still looks good
Jared says: I guess
Jared says: I just wasn't expecting this
Melissa says: that's hard..i know how shocking hair cuts can be
Melissa says: i'm sorry sweetie

Meet Bevo

This is our Longhorn Cowfish, "Bevo." He is named after the beloved mascot of the University of Texas which is a Texas longhorn.

Bevo is by far the weirdest looking fish in our saltwater aquarium. He loves to lurk near the surface of the tank. Bevo loves brink shrimp. I plop a cube of them in the tank, and he goes crazy. He starts eating the cube of shrimp, and as it breaks up the other fish eat as the currently carries it away.

Bevo will often swim with his horns sticking out of the water, and he occasionally will bump them into the sides of the aquarium. We love Bevo and his crazy looks.

Meet Porky

This is Porky our porcupine pufferfish. He has a lot of personality. Porky will follow you around the tank, hoping for dinner or at least a snack. He is extremely curious, and loves to explore. Porky's eyes move independently until he sees something to eat. Once he does, his eyes both are glued on it. He loves guppies that we get for about 7 per dollar. As soon as he sees me go to the guppy bowl, Porky is all excited and anxiously awaits his meal. I drop a live guppy into his tank, and Porky locks his eyes on it and chases it until he catches it. Occasionally one temporarily gets away from him, and his eyes start searching the tank for the guppy. It is fun to watch them move independently like search lights. Before long, he spies the guppy and makes quick work of it. I have never met a fish with as much personality as Porky.

Porcupine pufferfish can be gluttons. Overfeeding is not good for their health or the water chemistry of the aquarium. Maybe a more fitting name for these fish would be “piggers” rather than puffers (Hence the name Porky). You can feed them once a day or more, but do not feed them heavily more than a couple of times a week. When frightened they will inflate themselves with water to 2-3 times their normal size (But please don't intentially do this to Porky! It is really stressful, and he only does it if he thinks he is about to die).

Seven Days to Black Friday

Everyone there are now seven days until Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. The day when we should all be in a turkey, mashed potato, and pie induced comatose state. Yet some of us, yes perhaps even you, may secretly be planning on waking up at 3am so that you can can carry over the Thanksgiving spirit of gluttony one more day. The difference is that you are anxious to spend several hundred dollars, because according to the advertising propaganda you are going to save hundred of thousands of dollars by shopping on this holiest of holy capitalist's holiday.

My question to you is: Is it really worth it? I have been guilty of shopping on this weird, mysterious day only once. I bought a new TV, and to be honest I got it at 50% off. It was a great deal, but was it really worth it? Let's do an opportunity cost analyze of this TV. To begin with, my saving were $200, so in order to make the TV worth it, I needed to save at least that much.

1. $50 I had to wake up way too early. Now getting up at 3:30am hurt. I'm only saying $50, but in all honesty, I think having to get up that early on a Saturday is worth much, much more.
2. $15 I waited in line for an hour and a half. Again, I really think that my time is worth much more than this, but I don't want to already be at $200 by line 2.
3. $10 It was freezing cold. My toes and my fingers go dangerously close to frostbite. If they hadn't have opened the door five minutes early, then I would have lost them.
4. $25 The TV that I really want was gone. In fact it was gone before I even got though the front door. The darn TV was all sold out before I even made it to the line (which was 3 blocks long when I got in it).
5. $30 I suffered at least this much mental anguish to watch a whole bunch of punk teenagers just walk in the door without waiting in line. The employees didn't stop them. I think that they were friends with those punks. You can't let your 15 best friends skip over 500 people waiting in line! That was WAY not fair.
6. $50 Combat Pay. I will tell you what. I thought that I was going to have to dodge deranged, sleep deprived soccer mom hopped up on hot chocolate. To my ultimate surprise, it was a Japanese families that got me. Mom, dad, put-out teenager, and GameBoy toting lad were all over me to make sure that I didn't try and buy their plasma TV before them. Obviously they didn't realize that I won't be able to afford a TV like that for at least another 50 years.
7. $25 Being stuck in line behind a complete moron. I swear that this was the dumbest person that has ever lived on the earth. She had a TV, DVD player, Video recorder, and a computer game. It was about two thousand dollars worth of items. The cashier was busy flirting with her, so he took about ten minutes to ring up all of four items for her. Then when it came time to pay, she didn't have any money. I understand not having that much cash on hand, but come on, at least write a check that will bounce and let the rest of us go home. The line is now 25 people long, and the girl is just standing there saying, "My dad must be here somewhere..." I'm sure that it was true, but there were also about 10,000 other people in the store, and the fire marshal was probably on his way, too. Then the cashier got her phone number and asked her to make room so that he could check out the next customer. He better have gotten a date out of that.
8. $15 After I paid for the TV, the cashier told me to go stand in another line to actually pick my TV up. I stood in a large blob of people, who were all told the same thing. We waiting in confusion for about half an hour. No one ever came to help us. We just stood there like sheep hoping that eventually we would get the merchandise that we paid for. I went to ask another employer for help. He told me that TVs were actually picked up in the back of the store.
9. $20 I went around to the back of the store, and I walked into their storage area. No one was there, but there were several extremely nice High Definition TVs. I was sorely tempted to take one of those. After all, an employee had told me mine was back here. Before I could take what was rightfully mine, another employee came up to me to tell me that my TV was actually back in the front of the store (The back pick up was for richer families, like the Japanese one that had assaulted me earlier. In fact, I saw them picking up their plasma).
10. $15 I finally got my TV, but no one told me how stinking heavy it really was. I hurt my back carrying it by myself, and I almost had 3 heart attacks when I came precariously close to dropping the TV that I now no longer wanted.
11. $10 Because I didn't get the TV that I originally wanted, I had to settle for another one where I had to send in for a rebate. I promise you that waiting 6-46 weeks for a rebate is at least worth ten bucks.

Okay, I saved $200, but I lost $265, which means I ended up losing $65 worth of pain and terrible suffering.

Please, everyone, just stay home. It isn't worth it!

White & Nerdy

Thank you to Stephanie for bringing this to our attention, and to Weird Al for being, well, weird.

Will It Blend? - Golf Balls

Why wait?

Everyone, the results show that 52% of you think it is best to wait until birth to fid out the baby's gender. Why? I need some help understanding this, because it just doesn't make any sense to me. It seems to me that if you wait until the birth, then you won't be able to buy gender appropriate clothes until after the baby needs them. Isn't it a surprise either way? Just that with the ultrasound you get to have the surprise sooner. I think that the only time that I understand waiting until birth is if you already have had both a boy and a girl. Then it doesn't matter, because you have a plethora of both types of clothes and accessories. Okay, I've said my peace. Now all of you "Wait until birth" people comment and convert me to your side.

Meet the Harris Family

Everyone, our next door neighbors have started their own blog at http://nkharris.blogspot.com
They are Nate, Katie, and little Lydia.

Will the news change now that Democrats are in power?

Most of press is liberal. That is just a fact of life. For the past year, the press has continually reported about how bad the economy was doing. The truth of the matter is that the unemployment rate was incredible low, and that the economy was doing extremely well. In the past election, democrats took control of both the house and the senate. My question to all of you is how long it will take before the press decides to start reporting that the economy is actually doing well? (Please note that the newspapers may be depressed about the economy, because they are continually losing subscribers. Maybe its because they are too liberal...)

Sick

Ok, I was trying to post everyday this month, but I had the exciting experience of getting sick. I hate getting sick. I hate missing work and getting behind in school. I know that other people hate it too, but they choose to go out and infect others. I hate those people. If you are sick and have a fever, then please don't come to church. I really don't need you to bear your testimony that much. I will survive, and the crisis of faith from you not coming will be good for me. I had a friend at work come in even though he had bronchitis! Just stay home. If you threw up this morning, then please just stay home. If your adorable little baby is sick, then keep them at home. It really is ok to stay inside all day long for a few days. You really can do it. Your baby may be cute, but if it gets me and my family sick, then (excuse me while I speak blasphemy) I don't think your baby is all that cute. In fact, I think of your baby as a disgusting germ factory. Now don't get all offended. We are all disgusting germ factories once in a while. It is a temporary thing, and we will get over it. That or we die, but I'll save that for another post.

What if Al Queda recruited like Mormons?

You have to love British humor.

John Kerry Should Apologize

John Kerry recently told students that "you know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't you get stuck in Iraq."

Sign this petition asking him to apologize.