New Year's Resolutions that Work!

Okay, I usually have grandiose ideas for improving myself, but the problem with that is then I have to work really hard. I am therefore releasing this list of resolutions that I know I can fulfill. I am always willing to accept more suggestions, but here is my current list:

1. I resolve to resolve to resolve to lose weight.
2. I resolve to quit smoking.
3. I resolve to quit drinking coffee.
4. I resolve to not buy Alaska (or any other state...However I reserve the right to buy medium or small countries).
5. I resolve to eat (what and how much is left to my discretion).
6. I resolve to enjoy chocolate.
7. I resolve to do something...
8. I resolve to get a year older (I am thinking about taking this one off. I like being 26, and I think I'm going to stop here).
9. I resolve to take a test.
10. I resolve to get a grade on that test I will take.